A paradoxical oxymoron?

2010-05-09T07:03:00.002+08:00

Tim Hughes - Consuming Fire

Verse 1:
There must be more than this
oh breath of God come breath within
There must be more than this
Spirit of God we wait for you
Fill us anew we pray
Fill us anew we pray

Chorus:
Consuming Fire
Fan into flame
a passion for your name
Spirit of God
fall in this place
Lord have ur way
Lord have ur way
with us

Verse 2:
Come like a rushing wind
Fill us with power from on high
Now set the captives free
leave us abandoned to your praise
Lord let your glory fall
Lord let your glory fall

I feel like i've lost a lot of passion to do things. Motivation and engine and fire has all just died. I've been starting to feel like that since march. which is really bad. I've just no more motivation to make my days useful. I feel like all i want to do is rott my days away in my room. Hibernate, watch movies/shows/etc. and just shut out from the outside world where the existence of friends are.

2010-02-12T06:14:00.000+08:00

side note, I've got this unknown disturbing feeling. I'm wondering whether it's cause I'm slowly leaning on an indifferent feeling wall, or that I've been consuming too many things that I really shouldn't. Thoughts and wants that i shouldn't sidetrack towards. I don't know. Infact I'm not sure even if those things i just stated are really happening. It's just that feeling.
But one thing's for sure is that I'm definite of why God had planned that one year fallback. That one more extra year for me to be brokened and molded again. The year where prayers and heart desires were answered with tonnes of growth. Denied and unadmittable struggles deep inside the heart were overcomed.

Coming here, was barely even on my mind at initial stages. Infact, I was hard headed on not even bothering to go overseas to study. Heck, but God did show to me that He wanted me to go. To move, to grow, to go to a higher level. Well, obviously there was the Godly side, and why not, I mean there's this opportunity that many couldn't get in my Uni for business school. The thing was that the transfer thing was supposed to be stopped for my school last year but didn't. And only 5 people would be chosen. Parents told me to try applying first. And there it goes.

3 reasons that made me go.
1. Parents would've love for me to go although they'd very much love me to stay aswell. *parents... sheesh. hahaha*
2. I wanted the exposure, the experience. something new. It was an opportunity, why waste it?
3. God say go, go lorr :P haha

Lastly, before I pen off, I'll say that many things have changed despite the short time. Things back home, things here. With me, my brother, my dad and mom. With some people back home. Everyone's being molded still. =) And I really am happy with the things I'm hearing. My heart's quiet and longing desire is slowly turning out real. See prayers do come true all in God's timing <3

2010-02-09T20:13:00.002+08:00

Your grace is enough
More than I need
And your word I will believe
I wait for you
Draw near again
And your spirit make me new
And i will fall at your feet
I will fall at your feet
And i will worship you here

Your presence in me
Jesus light the way
By the power of your word
I am restored
I am redeemed
By your spirit i am free
And i will fall at your feet
I will fall at your feet
And i will worship you here

Freely you gave it all for us
Surrendered your life upon that cross
Great is your love
Poured out for all
This is our God

Lifted on high from death to life
Forever our God is glorified
Sovereign king
Rescued the world
This is our God

And i will fall at your feet
I will fall at your feet
And i will worship you here

And i will fall at your feet
I will fall at your feet
And i will worship you here

Freely you gave it all for us
Surrendered your life upon that cross
Great is your love
Poured out for all
This is our God

Lifted on high from death to life
Forever out God is glorified
Sovereign king
Rescued the world
This is our God

Taken at one of the church in Römer Frankfurt, Germany.

2010-02-08T22:28:00.013+08:00

It's been nearly 4 months half since i've been to my blog. Since i first stepped into UK for my new journey in life. Transitions, i'd say i'm taking things well and really fast in adaption. but i still feel as if coming here is a vacation, not an education purpose feeling. Weird. Many things have happened and are going to happen. But at this very moment right now, very few is happening. Just cause it's time to settle down and start out with the new semester again. It was just 2 weeks ago when everything and too many things were going on. especially with the after examination parties.

Letsee, Germany holiday from the 14th to 21st december was great! Went to Berlin, Frankfurt, Bavaria, Munich.
OH, and Salzburg, Austria was so BEAUTIFUL too! The city of Sound of Music and Mozart's home. I even managed to withstand the blistering COLD of average of -10 degrees C! crazy.

So was christmas but 'twas a quiet new years. all were good kids stayed in to study. I can't believe we all were stuck in our rooms, studying and countdown-ing from our rooms together through skype conference call. Bunch of sadcases? I'd blame it on exams. Well, and some part due to illness :S

on our way up to Neuschwanstein Castle in Fussen, Bavaria. The inspiration behind the Sleeping Beauty castle =)

Obviously not taken by me, but that's how it looks during winter from higher up the hills.

Random picture of a pork knuckle and sauerkraut. Quite good. and many other food. Yums.

Finally got to visit one of the nazi concentration camp. And visited the holocaust museums and oh BMW museum!

Exams, well, I was expecting to get lower than what I actually did get. But yet, it's not up to expectations either. Contradict? yes, hence why miss peilingness here is indeed a paradoxical oxymoron. I contradict myself yet I'm not actually contradicting. See, i myself don't understand so i don't expect any of you to. Yes, I expect that =.= facial expression. ;)
Oh okay, it is just a couple of marks away but aish. Let's hope they're nice and decide to give me that slight boost :P to that nice rounded number XD

Classes started, literally 1 day after my last paper. Horrible having saturday papers :S especially at 4.30 in the evening. This sem, I've 5 assignments/courseworks and 6 papers. Bugger!

Sides up, easter break - SPAIN! palma de mallorca island we shall invade! WOOOOT 4 star hotel resort, breakfast included room with an awesome sea view. Might stop somewhere whilst in Spain. still tentative the plans.

Summer break? HAHA. that you all shall just continue to wonder. :) i myself, ah you know. last minute person. :P

Church here has been good too =) small group, fellowship and all that small things. The people as well.

Line of the moment - " Never allow the obvious to blind you"

2009-09-27T09:59:00.008+08:00

Nottingham has been great so far. So was London and Birmingham and a few other places =)

just a quick update to everyone saying that I've finally moved into my permanent accommodation bout for a week already and have been reallly busy with registrations and been going out quite a bit also :P

and class officially starts this monday, i.e. tomorrow =)

Just watch out for this site soon i'll be back with more =)

just to show you a quick peek of how big my uni can be.

If you thought that this was part of the town or city. you're only half right. It's actually part of my uni. hahahahaha it's like the whole main campus itself is like a city in another city itself but isn't ;)

walking from one end to another would be killing. so, busses it is that we take to get from one building to another. =)

Mixture of modern and old style traditional buildings

if you can see, that's the really huge lake at the main campus. it's like HUGE lah. haha probably the size of mid valley. not including gardens i think :P

as city looking at it is, it's really more country style like and this two pics below are one eighth of my business school campus =) the other huge lake with the ducks

(p/s : Yes, I had a duck fascination over there :P)

and we've 3 main campus in total which are bout between 15-45 mins, by BUS mind you, depending on which ones. not including the medical school/hospital and some others =)

till I next see you all
God bless

2009-08-29T01:46:00.003+08:00

Scored another 1 point for herself in two encounters. Boy am I getting good in this. haha :P

anyways, I know there has been once again another hiatus of me from the blogging scene which i'm sure most of you are extremely aware of.

Life's been going on rather well I must say.

UPDATE: (finally making a public announcement)
Your's truly is confirmed leaving for the UK for two years if you hadn't already heard the news. haha in 13 days. I'm so gonna miss A LOT of things and persons.

2009-08-02T20:03:00.003+08:00

How can you have blind faith in something for which there is not a scrap of evidence.

The answer is, you can't!

If you could prove it, it wouldn't be faith

You can only have faith in what you don't know.

And that, my friends, is what faith is

2009-06-25T02:07:00.004+08:00

Okay. so the weeks been terrifying.

For the past two weeks, I've been frantically logging in to my Uni mail over and over again to check on updates bout results. Couldn't wait at all, so much so that few friends and I were just so frustrated with the wait and all that we practically wished the results were out then.

BUT,

Results have officially been released. The moment I received the email telling us about the time and date its released I started to panic. I've yet to go collect it from the personal tutor and I don't want to find out by phone either. So, I'd rather wait, get all anxious and fidgety and "crazy"( with all the self talking in the mind) and get the paper into my hands with my eyes staring into my marks.

Honestly, I'm really worried this time round. I've never beeeeen this worried bout my exams and the results I'm expecting. I've that strong feeling of getting a very low or near to fail marks for two of my papers. But yet, I pray that the rest of them are 2nd upper or 1st class and coupled with my good Sem 1 results. I'll progressss! Year 2, watch out for me!
But whatever it is, I've surrendered it to God and I'll praise and be thankful to God no matter what.

Added on with all these crazy self talk, and the absence of one for 3 weeks. I've convinced myself to pull out of the situation I'm stuck in. Due to something said to me by someone and the particular world of limitations I have limited myself to on certain issues due to something. Nah, it's not any good to both so why go on..

Another thing I'm really worried about is that I think my sayang's time is coming soon. Every time I look at her, she just seems to appear more and more restless and she rarely smiles anymore. She has her moods as to when she's happy and not. I hope my brother's coming back for hols tmr will cheer her up big time. She used to be so happy and cheerful and full of energy alll the time irregardless of the fact that she just saw us not too long ago. 13 years has gone by, and she's lived nearly double the average life span of a dog. She's finally acting up and showing signs of old age and lifeless-ness.

Besides all that, the brother is arriving KL in 15 hours time! wheeeee =) and i'll end my result frustration in a day's time. The results will half determine my decision about UK.

I've been doing so much things that I don't feel like I'm on holidays yet I'm also enjoying so much that I am just enjoying life and not thinking of things.

2009-06-13T02:08:00.003+08:00

when the day was filled with good happenings.
when receiving good or pleasing news/mails.
when silence was a good sign.
when consideration was put to use.
when the timing was perfect.
when something new was learnt.
when being challenged with something so full of drive.
when having the right companion(s)

what more can I say but that the day was perfect and thank God for those two days. and not forgetting today =)

on a side note. It's rather interesting and that I suddenly realised that for 1 whole week, the topic of dating and courtship was raised four times incidentally with different people.

Ponders:

have YOU ever thought of where your life is heading to?
What and why are you living for. Really.
Is YOUR life currently or going to make or contribute to a difference?
Will there be an inspiring part or story of your life journey that you'll proudly tell to your coming generations over and over again without getting bored

2009-05-21T14:06:00.002+08:00

Gah. MSN is so annoying.

imagine with all the stupid virus thingi going around sending all those idiotic links stuffs..

and nearly 2 months of not signing in....

TADAAAA - you get bombarded with the same msgs over and over again by gazillion and one times and from diff ppl.

Current agenda : Sabah

Next agenda : Internship!

2009-05-19T21:19:00.004+08:00

Why is it, that everytime I find the right or nearly perfect one, There's always that one same thing that puts a barrier with a full stop right through everything.

Second why.

Why is it so easy to pretend all's right anyway.

Maybe it's cause the expectations weren't in existance to begin with. Hmmmm, that's serious.

I hate this part right here. Where I get so indecisive. It's time for the magic to do its work.

On another note, I believe life's fair afterall.

The argument is not that life's unfair. It's the person living the life who aint doing it/thinking right then.

I've no idea if all these make sense. but it's something I'll understand and who cares if you don't!

Toodles!

2009-05-17T21:24:00.002+08:00

Oh right! and

a VERY BIG SMOTHERING KISSY THANK YOU to all who wished me and gave me something for my birthday. I enjoyed reading some of them despite mugging for the papers in between.

21. It ain't a biggie at all. =)

partying sessions coming up. after tomorrow for the next three months plus.

oh, the parents suddenly wants me to hold a 21st birthday party. random sial. haha
malas to organise lahh. i'd rather just have a nice gathering with friends in a cosy place.. and let other ppl do the work! HAHA.. nah kidding, but oh well.. after tomorrow only think lah.

a very big hearty thank you once again to you all. lotsa love

2009-05-17T21:06:00.004+08:00

I think I've effing come to the point where I'm so gonna fail one paper. My last paper for the semester tomorrow. There goes my frigging first class honours. I think after this exam I'd be glad to even get a second upper or lower the least.. Don't think I did that bad to go any lower i think.. Haha.

Then again, whatever it is. I've surrender it all to God.

Anyway, besides the point. I've got till 12 pm tomorrow to make sure all the cases and sections of the acts I've studied remains in my brain cells somewhere. Here I am succumbing to blogging to frustrate out the frustration. *smack upsidedowninsideout*

So update. I'm contemplating either options.

1. Transfer to the UK campus for the remaining two years.
2. Mobility exchange student for one semester in China campus and the other in UK campus for 2nd year and finish up 3rd year here.
3. Just go for mobility in UK campus for one semester and the rest here.
4. Just reject all the offers and stay here the remaining two years.

Aiyoh. why so hard for me to make decision oneeeeeeee ahh.?? (Cina-slang)

I know it's not simple to be offered a spot in either transfer and mobility. So, despite how tempting option 4 sounds, it'd be such a waste though.

Aiyoyoooo.. How la? (Indian slang)

There update. Just because I need to do something else other than studying and that's not too long and time consuming, addiction possibility like tv.

I've concluded for myself that the more I study, the less I remember. The minimum time spent finishing, the better. wahlau where can one! fail big time.

2009-04-18T20:19:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I feel like I'm just existing
I'm not really living
I'm only watching the time slip away
I've forgotten who I am in you
I'm not who I'm meant to be
I'm drifting farther away from my destiny

[Chorus:]
Awaken my heart, awaken my soul
Awaken your power and take control
Awaken the passion to live for you, lord
Awaken me

My soul is longing, my heart is searching
I'm desperate for you to move
Give me a hunger, pull me closer
I'm crying out to you

Awaken my heart, awaken my soul
Awaken your power and take control
Awaken the passion to live for you, lord
Open my eyes so I can see your presence
Dwelling inside
Wake me up, cause I can't live another minute
if I'm not shining your light

Awaken my heart, awaken my soul
Awaken the passion in me
Lord, awaken me to live my destiny
Lord, awaken me and shine your light through me
Lord, awaken me to live my destiny
Lord, awaken me and shine your light through me

[Chorus]
Yeah,Yeah,Yeah

Song : Awaken by Natalie Grant

Sometimes I really do feel like that. And everytime I listen to this song, I feel rather inspired and just lifted up in a certain way.
It's good to know even that, despite my "quiet away from Him" moments, He never fails to still be there. All He's waiting for is for me to make the move!

2009-04-14T09:45:00.001+08:00

Isolation.
Disappearance.
Turning around.
Denial.
Running away.

but all it really need or is, is

to once again, set aside a time spent with God, hearing from Him and worshipping Him in a place of solitude.

A place that He can call "ours"

Our hangout spot.

2009-04-10T18:01:00.002+08:00

It's Good Friday today.

One may ask what's Good Friday for? it's the day that Christ was crucified on the cross.

Easter?

is not a reason for a holiday and making money with ridiculously priced chocolates. Besides, how does bunnies and eggs have any relationship? blah

It's the day to celebrate the resurrection of Christ. On the third day of the crucifixion =)

Romans 5:6-8 (NIV)

⁶You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. ⁷Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. ⁸But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

John 15:13 (NIV)

¹³Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.

2009-04-06T00:35:00.004+08:00

Many a times we get too caught up with our busy lives, or rather, by being so conformed to the patterns of the world when we should instead be renewed by the transformation of our mind. Daily.

I was recently reminded of this that I read from somewhere some time back.

the things that we need to remind ourselves when we look at our W.A.T.C.H : (whether or not you wear one. haha)

Word - It's important to watch our languages. Once spoken, you can't just take it back.

Action - As Christians, we must watch our actions, they build the publics' impression towards us.

Thoughts - Be mindful of our thoughts. Temptation is all around the world and us, but how strong are we against it?

Companion - Don't just mix around with fellow believers, instead reach out and impact the world!

Habits - It takes a person 21 days to turn something into a habit/routine. Although we may fall down sometimes, don't give up.

Life is not all about you only, it's ultimately about Him and for Him.

For greater is He who is in you; than he who is in the world.

2009-03-18T22:02:00.002+08:00

Gua nggak mau tau apa apa si. Bisa kah?

been a bit hooked on Indon language. it's nice to hear and speak. esp when a lot of other ppl don't understand. haha.

I feel a huge need to realign my wrecked up brain.
Time to do some spring cleaning.

Oh Lord, help me.

TeeHee

2009-03-11T00:03:00.002+08:00

I haven't visited my blog since I last posted and I didn't even realize my chatbox expired till I was told. hahaha

AND

Just for the sake of updating.... I shall post some videos to entertain you out of your boredom.

entertaining

somewhat a laughter for that moment of time. haha

And a response it received.

Okay.
Now you can freaking roll your eyes at me when you see me lah. LOL

slow random blurness

2009-01-21T23:22:00.004+08:00

In one of the Saturday evening in December, I received a text message during service asking if I was free later.

So, I had the number saved under a name in my phonebook. and I didn't reply because I thought it was someone *whom I thought that person had that name* playing around cause I was messaging earlier on as there were a group of friends and known ppl from Youth and Couz around. So what right?

The funny part comes, one month later, I suddenly realised that I have not a single clue at all who that person is and a person by that name doesnt exist in youth either! LOL. talk bout blurness. (That's what happens when there's 100+ youths and you don't recognise them all by names but by faces...)

Now, the question is, who is that person and why do I have his number saved in my phone.. @.@
I have zilch memory of knowing anyone personally by that name and it's no common name. blergh.

talk about being random and blur. not to mention slow reaction pulak tuuuu!

Oh God help me not be so random and blur. hahaaha

2009-01-16T17:30:00.002+08:00

There's been so much news bout the Gaza bombing incident... and everyone is blaming Israel on it..

The truth is.
This war was already expected. For many years, Israel has been warning the Palestinians to stop their bombing. And what has the media done about it? NOTHING!

If you ask me, the public are just being plain naive and simply start accusing and being angry and all those things without even knowing the whole real story to it. Bet most of you didn't know that Israel was indeed provoked to do what they're doing now.
Israel's just trying to protect themselves and trying to put a stop to everything for all those years of "patience" towards the people who started it.

And on another note, boycotting American products, aren't gonna help much. Infact, you're only doing harm to our own economy.

The franchised products such as Starbucks and McDonald's and all... They may be originally American established brand. But the stores which are franchised and opened in Malaysia itself, are owned by our very own citizens. MALAYSIANS. that's right.
In order to open up a franchise shop in Malaysia, they'd have to pay a huge amount to get the legal franchising documents and all those things. Once approved, everything is up to them"new shop owners" now. Revenues and expenditures are all theirs now.. By boycotting them, it makes no effect to the American companies!

If you're talking bout the imported products? Fine, yes if you want, you can boycott them. That will at least do a little. But, just think of it. The Americans themselves can boycott us back! Sheesh, just wait, later they'll decide to stop importing products from us. Who'll be in a bigger mess?
Lets bring KFC in. KFC you ask? Although their company is based in US or was it Australia.. either one but is actually a Malaysian owned business. What if they closed down all KFC stores in America and whatever other countries that support Israel.

Now, don't get me wrong.
I'm not saying that I'm all for continuing the bombings and stuffs.
I'm not taking sides or anything.
I'm just stating the truth. Black and white truth that people do not see or are aware of.

Just a couple days back, I saw this video. Do watch it. Should explain a bit on what really happened.
Btw, what I feel up there are all on my of own knowledge. And it was not because of this video.
Perhaps you ought to read a bit from Times and those kinda mags aswell. Maybe they'll help broaden your knowledge and perspectives a bit.

Charge!

2009-01-05T13:34:00.005+08:00

It's the new year.

and I have that sudden adrenaline rush to just do so many things.

I somehow have that world domination feeling. That this year, is the year I conquer.

So, I'm way beyond ready to conquer.

I believe for myself even, that I'll be able to fulfill my promise. I'm ready =) THAT ready. XD

As for everyone else.

Let's redeem back the light of the world.
Let's overpower the darkness.
This is the year of change.
The progress of change started last year, and now is the time to act!

Okay. Now first thing to conquer is... the exam. ahaha. Starts on the 8th of Jan for a week. =) then I've lots of time to plan.

Who wants to join me?

The Brightening Effect

2008-12-24T00:53:00.003+08:00

I always took the initiative to be friendly and get to know the school guards or mak cik kantin or some cleaners.

In primary school, I unknowingly got to know the guard much more well, also due to the fact that I would go back late or would just be playing around the guard house.. as well as all those extra activities and camps.

Years later, I moved on to secondary school and even then I started to befriend the guards that I even knew both the morning and night shifts guards. I'd sometimes talk to them when I see them and just have a small talk or even ask how were they. They'd joke and such. (okay, I think the other reason they recognised me was cause I'd end up in school like an hour later, or half way through school or left early sometimes cos of stuffs) There was even one of the makcik kantin whom I don't see very often that'd always talkkkkk alot with a big grin on her face after school when staying back for ECA if she's free.

Even now, some of the guards and random cleaners that I see in uni.

Just the other evening, while heading back to the car, I was having my usual tired look and staring mindlessly looking to the ground as I walked. I noticed ahead was a security guard just standing around making sure of the safety, and I looked up and just gave him a smile. From that bored look he had, he smiled back and even mentioned bout how tired I looked and told me to drive safely home.
And there's those who are at the pondok to check the cars for entering the campus. I think a couple of them recognise me that they'd smile and wave back to me when I pass and I noticed that they don't always do that to the other car in front or behind. I always make it a point to smile and wave a thank you at them when I drive in.

I have this theory where I notice that the security guards at schools and other academic learning places are one of the much happier bunch of guards cause of the students they get to know.

Now, I'm not typing all these here to show how erm, nice I am.. but more on what the outcome is from just being nice to them. I believe that it is when you give that you'll receive.
Ultimately, in the end, I too feel happy to see them happy even if it's that one person.

All that it takes is a smile and it's really nice to see them smile back at you and how their face just sweetens up.

Just ONE smile.

For example, the night shift guard on the 4th floor of church, when I see him, I notice that from his bored stoning look, his face would brighten up more and was happy that someone actually acknowledge his presence. And he'd be really eager to say hi back.

Besides, the smile we give could represent our thankfulness and encouragement to them. Why not share that beautiful smile that God's given you. How hard is it to make someones' day?

How many of you here can say that I know at least one of these people in school/uni or workplace well enough? I have definitely enjoyed listening to some of them talk too. Sometimes, they can be just too funny. It's even nicer to see those really old ones, with erm, bad teeth conditions to smile back and see all their wrinkles not sag that much. haha just shows how genuine their smile is.

I was indeed blessed to be a blessing to be blessed back.

Will you too be the one to start this trigger effect?

2008-12-15T00:50:00.003+08:00

I'm so sure that I'm unsure I'm sure.

@*#%@#!

Anyhoots, those who's going for STAND camp in 14 hours time. Have a good time ya'll and don't miss me too much =) tho I really wish to go.

2008-12-10T20:48:00.003+08:00

On another note.

I've been really happy the past few days and... the reason?
That's for me and some to know.
And for the rest? go figure and boggle your mind with all the possible possibilities! ;)

2008-12-10T20:33:00.007+08:00

I think we're all turning into nocturnal people. Seriously.
Or at least quite a number of us.

In order to finish up our assignments and presentations preps we end up staying awake till the early mornings between 4 am to 10 am. And sleep after that till afternoons if there's nothing to attend to. Infact, we even miss our early morning lectures once in a while which are pretty much nothing now since the semester's ending and syllabus are done.

I even sleep early enough to give someone wake up calls at 5.30 am. haha

Sometimes, we end up not even sleeping throughout the whole morning as we've got group meetings and even today, we had presentations to go for. Hence, only sleeping after we were done which btw, my groups' was at 5.45pm and I must say, we did pretty darn brilliant. I'd probably end up going to my friends room or probably to the car if I was THAT desperate to sleep. HAHA. yes.

And so. Our lifestyles so turned upside down that we eat lunch which is usually our first meal of the day at tea time. =S

I'm pretty sure we ALL can't wait till next week cause that's when our last of assignments are due for. And only to slave for exams starting on the 8th of January and we're off for a short term break.!

I'm amazed that I can even manage to drive up and down without falling asleep. hehe

Infact, I'm gonna have a short sleep now. And wake up at midnight to continue on my report.

Nite ya'all!

2008-12-07T22:43:00.005+08:00

Rain.

There are two sides to it.

One's where it brings in a fresh cool wind, clearing up the hazy sky and air when it stops and seeing a rainbow on a sunny rainy day.

And most obviously the best time to just sleep.
Then there's the joy in walking in the rain. (obviously, the consequence would be to possibly catch a cold. But heck, sometimes, it's just nice and very relieving to just be under the rain)
And a good chance of getting "closer to the other person" with the excuse of sharing an umbrella ;)

It brings life too! There's just so much more to rain. But, we'll go into that another day.

Rain however, also could be the most dreadful thing to happen. The dark cloudy sorrowful sky. The flooding, accidents. Inconvenience in some ways to.

Being stuck in the rain where movements are still or at least disallows a person to continue their smooth journey allows time to think and ponder. Sometimes, rain brings reflections.

Having to drive in a heavy downpour is not nice.
Whether there's a jam or not.

What's worse than having to drive in a heavy rain even without a jam is..

Being stuck in the car for 30 minutes, feeling hungry as they were supposed to go for lunch, and the atmosphere in the car is just bad. Having just had a little disagreement and argument, obviously, neither one is going to try their luck and say something just incase something stupid may come out and trigger something again. So, the cooling off moment was spent stuck in the car in heavy rain, silent enough you could probably hear the rumble of a hungry stomach. I'd pity the driver though. Frustrated and bad road conditions. ;P

Okay. That was just a non-related post. Just to rant. Haha.

Just like the rain, sometimes many things become blurry. Causing us not to see the clear picture. It's like driving in heavy rain, barely able to see the road and in an unfamiliar place. We feel lost and unsure of what lies ahead. Realising that we missed it, only that it's too late having to turn back.

But the difference is, in life, there's no turning back but only to hope and pray that there'll be another chance of route up ahead and this time we'd make the turn.

Many a times, we need to be clear of where we're heading which is why we should always be prepared. Be it physically, mentally or spiritually. However way, as long as we've identified possible areas of barriers and think of possible solutions.
Not everything in life can be taken as "let's see how it goes and run with the wind" Sure, it's much more thrill-seeking and fun but the risk's much more damaging.

Even so, conforming to the patterns of the world, is what can cause your eyes to go all blurry and soon blind. We ought to instead, be in the world but not of the world and constantly keep our mind clear, transformation and renewing of the mind to ensure we are not being bombarded by the pretty surface image. Cause behind every pretty image, has an ugly or empty side to it.

However, even if we do get stuck behind all that blurriness, fret not, for every storm comes to an end. And the sun rises, drying up the rain and hence, up comes the clear image. Perhaps clearer, with all the dust and dirt washed off.

Now, the question is whether, you'll take note of the clear picture, and continue to take that path even during stormy weather or do we continue to be misled, on a sunny or another stormy day?
As simple and obvious the answer is, but how many of us really do choose that?

2008-11-30T02:35:00.004+08:00

Over the mountains and the sea,
Your river runs with love for me,
and I will open up my heart
and let the Healer set me free.
I'm happy to be in the truth,
and I will daily lift my hands:
for I will always sing of when
Your love came down.

I could sing of Your love forever...

And so, this song really touched me today during NSt's worship session.
The past two weeks, related topics have been coming up. All unplanned for and I guess, God's reminding me to do what I promised to do.

There was a point where I reached to a level but no sooner did I pull back.
I guess, I'm still slowly learning and I long to allow healing to take place completely but I need to learn how let down my guard a little.

I trust my Mighty God, I don't entirely trust man.
But ultimately, am I going to allow myself to trust myself enough?
Enough to handle certain things and situations.

In order for God to work, I need to allow Him to do so.
And no matter what and when it happens, I know He is always ready and waiting for my response.

Time will tell, when I'll take that step and when that happens, I know for sure. That I have indeed overcome. I will rejoice for it is only in and through Him I am able to.

God's love is perfect love.
So real; that no words or pictures can describe.
So great; that none can comprehend.

2008-11-28T01:40:00.006+08:00

Now, sometimes I just amaze myself in more ways than one. XD

I'm quite proud of myself actually. Being the first time ever having to write out a whole report of and on my own. I took one day to get my info and draft out my critical assessments. Another one day to type the whole freaking assignment out. Spent another one more editing i.e reconstructing, shortening and adding in diagrams and images.
Voila, printed and handed in. Still have one more day before the deadline, but I'm too lazy to drive all the way up there just to hand it in before 2pm. having to come back down by 4.

I'd say I'm pretty satisfied with my work despite starting erm, 5 days prior to the deadline. Though if not because I started last minute.. I'd definitely do much better and probably get much higher marks too. Not to mention, the word limit. If not, I would've gone quite a bit more.. and erm, have much more flower-ish grammatical sentences. If there is ever such thing.

Oh.. I'll get the most of the 45% marks allocated for this assignment.

OKAY. Self-praising and self-gratification moment over. heheheeee ;)

So, so soooo not a good idea to start late. Aish.
But, no matter what, I really thank God for His provision over me. =)

However, I'm doing what I always do to myself to stress myself out again.
By setting extremely high expectations and "nearly perfectionism" results/work of myself.
And when I've handed in the work, I'll always go.. crap. should've added this should've said it that way.

I'll never be satisfied.
Though, by the next day, I don't exactly bother anymore. Taking the outcomes as it is. haha

now, off to do my reflective text for the barometer. which by the way, deadline's in a few hours and I was given two weeks to fill it in. HarDeeHarrr

PARENTAL ADVISE : Children are strongly encouraged to not follow these actions at home or anywhere in general as it is highly probable to jeopardise yours' and their future.

yes, i'm making pathetic attempts to amuse myself

2008-11-23T23:22:00.002+08:00

Just like every other person doing their assignment. The problem is not having insufficient words to reach the limit but instead, I've to figure out how to cut my report short. Blerghhh.

Never have I spent this much time on a computer everyday.
Gotta start getting used to being on the comp for HOURS everyday. =.=
Gotta start loving technology and its uses more.

But no matter how advance technology is and continues to be, I always somehow will go back to the basic pen and paper. =) Can't live without 'em.

2008-11-21T02:04:00.003+08:00

Extremely productive unproductive Thursday day it was.

I was awake till 4am on Wed doing things I should and shouldn't be doing. Went to sleep after that having to wake up for an appointment at 10.30. Initial plan was to go home and shower after the app and errands and head over to the Library to do my assignments and such. BUT me, being me, decided to change her mind last min. Seeing no one was home again, went to ta-pau lunch at Seputeh whilst her mind battles as to go or not. Ended up staying at home instead. Also cause it was going to rain and that I'd just waste more time on travelling and getting settled and not staying there till late cause of not wanting to drive back late. =s And ultimate fact that it wouldn't be as comfortable. hehe..

SO, I was honestly going to start on writing out my assignment but got distracted with playing games for an hour. Finally started on my work. Couple of hours later, wanted to take a short nap cause of the rain and my mind trying to excuse herself from work but ended up going downstairs thanks to the dog "dragging her paw up and down, spoiling the wooden front door" due to thunder and ended up in front of the T.V.! For two hours and then was gonna go back up then suddenly I just had to pop the Gangs of New York into the DVD player and wasted another 2 hours plus and more TV after that. Argh, temptations of the father who just came home wanting to watch something before going for cell. And to think he wanted to watch The Godfather 2 which I didn't want cause it's really long and he's gotta go off which I would've def end up wasting even more time watching it. Sure, thought I'd stop watching when it was time for him to go since I watched it before, but no..again. Had to finish watching it.
Noticed I didn't mention dinner? Cause there was literally nothing to eat at home that was already cooked and I was too lazy to cook something up or to go out and eat. Just see how lazy I can be???

Therefore, my initial plan of hoping over to the library and spend my hours on finishing my essay ended up to be quarter the hours spent on work and the rest on entertainment. The perks and disasters of being at home, what more alone is having the quiet and comfort but too much. And no pressure to get back to work. If only the mother was home early and she'd at least ask what I did the whole day much sooner then I'd at least go back to work. Instead came home at 11, saw me watching tv and started chatting away. Probably thought I did A LOT of studying when I mentioned I was doing my work today. Way too much distraction at home! My allocated max rest time of 2 hours plus became, erm, 8 hrs in total. See, I even came to blog instead of working on my essay!

Next time, I ought to just stick to not staying home when it comes to studying and work. Could've finished up my assignment already. Pfffft..

If you actually read finish my purposely elongated crappy overly descriptive rant. You must really have a lot of time and is bored OR you must really want to know about my life happenings. Either way, congratulations! HAHAH!

It's 2.30 a.m. As usual am not feeling sleepy yet and I've class at 10 till bout 5 ish.

2008-11-17T00:05:00.008+08:00

Pffft. I absolutely dislike it when people change or set my settings for me as if it's their own computer without asking me for my permission or neither did I ask them to..

For example, those pop up msgs, alerts or something. There's a reason why I want them to pop out... and then after I mentioned it.. the person still has the guts to say, 'what for? it's the same msg every time and it's annoying.' At least have the courtesy to apologize. GARH. I'm ok with it if they can be set back to the original. But, what's worse is that some of these cannot be changed back, like those where you tick "do not show this msg again" box. (unless is there's a way that I'm unaware of)

I give u a smack alright. Then you shall turn the other cheek and might as well let me smack that side too.

As small this matter may be. It's not that I'm making a big fuss out of the changes made. Infact, I couldn't bother so much of the changes already been done. It's just that I find that "making the self-decisions as if your own belonging" act an extremely selfish and rude thing to do.

EDIT:
Gosh, what has happened to moral and manners?

2008-11-16T22:35:00.004+08:00

AND.....

If only I could easily write that much for my assignments in such a short time like my post below.

sheeshh.

there I go.. another excuse for my procrastinated slack. woah, double power!

I suddenly can't think of that right word for a double powered emphasis on something.. like procrastinated slack.. And I never do end with the excuses do I?

Seriously, I'm off to continue on my research. BYE! wish, No, PRAY that I seriously buck up! ASAP!! ;) THANK YOU with a huge loving HUG! XD

Okay. For real this time... Till another time.

2008-11-16T21:43:00.006+08:00

And so.. it's been nearly a month since I last blogged. And frankly speaking, I've either:

1. Had something I wanted to share, but just never got to penning it down
2. I've been swamped with lotsa things to do
3. I'm just plain lazy to blog

Updates:

Firstly,
I've fallen sick. Twice in a row. And to think that I was just telling someone that I had not been ill for 2 years already. Which is something new, cause I remember that during my high school years, or at least the second half of it, I would, without fail, definitely catch the same virus twice a year, constant timing which were always between the period of my mid terms or after. And the second would be towards the end of the year, in November. After Form 5, I was healthy to the brink! So, last week was either a mild case of stomach flu or food poisoning. Then on Monday, I got the whole cough and fever thing. Despite my attempt to pamper it before the inflammation started, it back fired. Instead of soothing it down, it was aggravated. So much for that 2 hot honey lemon the night before which was just part of the "regime".

Though I must mention this that I somehow feel much more smarter when I'm sick. Well, not smarter, but that my memory power and brain capacity's much better. Haha. Sounds quite unreasonable right! ;)

Secondly,
I've been swamped with so much work and so little time. With the whole church thing, some extra job thing I promised a friend and university work.
What's bugging me is that having been under the 100% based examination education lifestyle, and the sudden switch to having to do really long assignments. I'm so not used to the whole research, compiling, referencing bla bla bla thing. I've been really putting off on starting my assignments which some counts for my entire marks. I feel so alienated by it. At first, I thought how hard can these subjects be, cause the subject title seemed really simple, like Computers in Business. I thought simple lah, just basic computer stuffs(i.e. Ms Excel, Web strategy and all those thingamajiggy) which I already do know about. Then comes out the bidding Case Study Report and suddenly hearing foreign abbreviations of the "cyber, computer etc... ( I also don't know what to call them)"

Three 3000 words, one 1500, two group assignments which both requires a lot of things that I've never touched or learnt on in my entire life. Having to come up with a poster design, and learning how to create our own bidding proposal plan with a whole exhibition layout and guide to think of. On a freaking topic that makes zero sense to me! haha. Okay, it's not THAT bad. Just something I've very minimal knowledge on. And later present. =.=

Best part is their all due extremely soon. One's due in a weeks' time. T.T

Thirdly,
Lately, I've been having this attitude of really not wanting to get involved or being part of something that I should continue going for. And even not wanting to socialize so much with them. Somehow, I think I've been somewhat avoiding talking to them when I really don't want to. Not that I don't like them or anything. I just somehow want to isolate myself from them.. I think it's partly due to feeling "guilty" of not going. BAD, but I don't know why I feel this way. I think I need to start going again so that I'll get over this self proclaimed "rebellious phase".

Okay. That's it. Today's post is filled with a lot of words of rambling. Just for the sake of an update!
Till the next time when I feel, smart and inspired. And not lazy

Ooh, I've gotten slightly darker now(or at least I'd like to think I have), which.. I like! hahaa..(if you remember reading one of my later post where I mentioned bout me liking to be dark/tanned skinned.) Thanks to last Saturday. Had a nice time of "basking" in the sun at the zoo(okay, I know that somehow sounds like I was one of the animals lazing in the sun. LOL) with the kids from Prima and Sentul. Even got a slight sunburn, which I didn't realize till the next day. Guess I should've slabbed on a thicker layer of sunscreen! It was a fun time. Sure was. Gonna miss 'em kids and it'll be a couple of months more till I start seeing them again.

2008-10-26T12:26:00.002+08:00

I was going through my draft and I re read what I wrote at that point of time of my erm, unexplainable uncontrollable emotionally wrecked breakdown moment. Now that I read back, I really sound so silly and emo. When I talked to him on the phone. He actually laughed at and made fun of me. lol. But I guess that's his way of cheering me up. =) It's funny how I was actually crying when I was typing this and well, even after when I was "stoning" in bed.

That day has finally come. (ever since the day you first flew off)

Where I wished you were here with me.

That someone whom I can get a humongous hug from and just be able to embrace the love and know that you'll protect me from everything no matter how much it takes. Someone who'll always sayang me and layan me when I want to be manja-ed. The one person whom I can always count on for as long as we live. Who will only want and think of the best for me. The person whom I believe and am certain is willing and will take the first flight home from that place of unpredictable weather immediately if something were to happen to me.

And so, I wish you were beside me to cry away to and let the world go by. Instead of having to result to silent crying.

I love you always and I miss you.
There. I said it. *ooh, big round of applause plskthx*

The little things

2008-10-14T21:40:00.006+08:00

It was an extremely long day from uni. Half of my 40 minutes journey was driving in extremely heavy rain accompanied with a bright piercing ray of sunlight. Added with another 15 minutes towards Hartamas.

On Monday early evening, whilst slowing down to a traffic light. I saw something which I had not seen in a really long time. A beauty so colourful and bright that it just has to capture your attention. Feeling prompted, I just looked up and beyond and noticed it.

A rainbow. The moment I saw it, the thought of God and His amazing-ness just flashed by and filled over my already crowded mind pushing aside the busy *brain wrecking* thoughts. And I just had to stop and really thank God for it. I said a small thank You prayer and at the end my spirit just lifted up.

Literally. It's the little everyday things like this (ok, maybe not everyday in terms of a rainbow, but you get what I mean) that really we look beyond and let it just pass by. We tend to get so caught up with the big things that we don't realize the importance or necessity of the smaller things.

Even the slightest sight/thought/words can really make a difference. Imagine what the effect would be, be it building or destroying. Therefore, always, and I repeat, always guard your thoughts and words and actions.

On a side note.
Small things could simply mean being thankful to God, just having small conversations with Him. Daily quite time with Him. Listening to Him.
Whereas, big things could be the problems, where we focus so much on it that we seek Him for solutions. To whine and start blaming around. Crying to God as if looking for pity.

Sometimes, we need to focus on the small things that'll help us understand the big picture.

"I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth."

Genesis 9:13

Edit : Now that I think back. I must say that it was one of the most complete arched rainbow with very distinct colours I've ever seen. Making that short moment all the more special =)

With Hope by Steven Curtis Chapman

2008-09-24T01:35:00.002+08:00

Was recently talking to someone bout deaths. And suddenly I was reminded of this song which I had heard months back.

FYI. It was originally written not for his daughter but for a family friend whose daughter had also pass away years ago.

Really, everytime I watch or hear anything of Maria's act, I really smile and giggle away. Just cause she's so cute and as you can see really brings light and joy to the people around her.

To those who've lost someone dear.. Trust in God and His grace. Have hope.

Infact, take a look at the lyrics. It really weighs a lot.

This is not at all how
We thought it was supposed to be
We had so many plans for you
We had so many dreams
And now you've gone away
And left us with the memories of your smile
And nothing we can say
And nothing we can do
Can take away the pain
The pain of losing you, but ...

We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
(There's a place by God's grace)
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again

And never have I known
Anything so hard to understand
And never have I questioned more
The wisdom of God's plan
But through the cloud of tears
I see the Father's smile and say well done
And I imagine you
Where you wanted most to be
Seeing all your dreams come true
'Cause now you're home
And now you're free, and ...

We have this hope as an anchor
'Cause we believe that everything
God promised us is true, so ...

So we can cry with hope
And say goodbye with hope

We wait with hope
And we ache with hope
We hold on with hope
We let go with hope

2008-09-22T04:17:00.004+08:00

I was randomly going through my pictures, and I found one that I took of during one of those late night cramming period for my final A-levels exam. Must've been the boredom. =/

I finally realise how messy I can get that even my books and notes were all piled up on the bed. Now, how on earth did I sleep on the bed with comfort. The wonders of burning the midnight oil.
Seriously speaking, if not for this picture, I wouldn't have realise that I was THAT messy. And that, was just the beginning of the cramming period.. Which was about a month plus before the exam. and only half of the mess. And you wouldn't want to see the study room either.

It became so messy that it resulted in me going elsewhere to continue my studying in the afternoon and retreat back to the mess at midnight.

It's 4.30 and I've got class at 10. Awesome

SEE

2008-09-17T22:54:00.003+08:00

The videos of the Chapman family on Larry King. 3 months after the tragic incident that took their youngest daughter, Maria Sue's life.

Truly shows the love and strong support within the family and how true and strong God's strength is in which they depend on to continue living forward every single day. Such an inspirational message to learn from and to lean not on our own understanding but to truly rely on God.

It's amazing how great is our God and the life changing moments/actions/impacts He has upon our life.

.... "little breadcrumbs on our journey through life" ....
Watch and you'll understand that and why the title SEE.

2008-09-10T20:04:00.005+08:00

Poetry. Oh the beauty of poetry.

Thoughts unfurl like cigarette smoke as I ash old memories away of corked pain,a bitter wine, that never ages gracefully.

Sorry for the emotional outburst on the previous post. But yet, how true can it be? I'm sure there comes a day where it must have passed through your mind, somewhere.

Yet, there are times again where I feel.
Darn, do I really deserve these people -.-

but apart from that...
Between the two weeks since that post, apart from the replies I got here. People actually did text messaged me asking whether I was okay. Even the few, online on the rare occasions when I'm on MSN.

Good to know that there will be those few who you know you can definitely count on. Thanks

2008-08-13T00:02:00.003+08:00

Lately I’ve been having really random weird thoughts.

Would all the cares and kindness I’ve given matter? Would everything I do now, matter in the end or would it just be another one of those ‘spur of a moment, yeah man, that’s just what I need for ME at the moment’. And let my loving nature be taken advantage of.

Is it acknowledged or appreciated at all?

I've always wondered if ever something happened to me and I ended up in a hospital.. Who would visit me. Who would stay and comfort/cheer/accompany me while I lie there. I wonder if ever I just died the next day, would anyone but my parents and close relatives even shed a tear at my funeral. Would they even bother attending?

Or would I rather know for now that I should just expect to wait on my “death bed” and just look forward to meeting God whom at least I know has ultimately loved me. Instead of wondering, when’s he/she coming? Or rather, is anyone even coming?

Would anyone actually go.. “Hey.. I miss having her around.”

Maybe that’s why sometimes I'd rather sit by myself and enjoy the solitude of a good book and the company of a bowl of food then carry on with mindless meaningless chatter. Or perhaps just sit somewhere and enjoy the beauty and nature of God’s creation whilst having conversations with God.

But then again.. I am a creature of many contradictions.

Hence, my blogs’ heading. A paradoxical oxymoron. Well, there’s a big HAHA.

2008-08-10T23:13:00.001+08:00

Somehow, it’s finally occurred to me that people nowadays are so self-absorbed.
Not that I never realized it, just that I finally accepted the fact.
Okay, I'm not saying all okay. Just a majority of them.
What’s happened to humanity?
Okay, never mind humanity. It seems too “high up there”.
If not humanity, what about civic conscience?

Sometimes I really wonder. Is there still hope?
I believe there is and can be. Just need to keep praying and standing up for a change.

The time to cultivate that change of mindset has arrived. Question is, do you want to be part of it.
Let's not miss out on this open window of opportunity.
I’m seriously looking forward for a paradigm shift in our generation.

I know I'm not gonna give up hope.
I'm still holding strong to my stand on Malaysia.
I'm not gonna turn my back on her.
I'm going to wait for and be part of her reigning glory for Him with the help of us children.
And I'm really looking forward to it.

2008-06-26T00:32:00.007+08:00

Okay. Fine. I ended up not watching the match because someone decided to suddenly call me and made me miss half the match. Didn't realize the time... I was like pfft, no point watching. Might as well go sleep since I had to be up at 6..

Ever since Thursday, I've been going out every single day. Literally. From morning till night.. Either out at shopping malls or random shops or at someones' house or both. Crazy I tell you. and different bunch of ppl too. What more with friends who's back from overseas :)

But, it's good. In the sense where I get to catch up with some of my old buddies, and also get a lil closer to my college friends. :) it's interesting how much things have changed in such a short period of time. I must say, I've had a good time so far..

Going out with my school buddies, really reminds me of secondary school. I really miss those times. The things we used to do in and out of school. The days where we'd "fly" school halfway and walked up to BSC. Skip classes like crazy. The free periods. Hanging out in one of the teachers office room enjoying the air-con. Staying back either for just hanging out or doing things to prepare for sports day until we became really dark. Many other things.. And even some of the things some teachers do.. haha.

But the one thing I really missed most was when I was somewhere between Form 2 and 3.. There was this group of us who'd nearly every Friday walk down to McD's in Telawi and just really spend time bonding :) things changed when, well, some left in Form 4 and also there were some misunderstandings.. But nonetheless, it was still good.

Another thing I really liked bout my school was how everyone who was anyone blended in together. There were students from all walks of life, backgrounds and upbringing. Whether you were rich or not, smart or well, more towards the athletic, the nerd or geek, the popular one, or "social outcast" and whatever else. Whichever race and religion, we generally were friends. We didn't care where we came from. We were all somewhat, if I could use the term, equal. Sure maybe not every single one.. But generally, majority were friends. Not necessarily close, but still we mixed around.

I don't know if everyone agrees with me. But this was how I saw it. Maybe it was different for others, depending on their personality and mentality and experiences.
Truthfully speaking, from what I see and hear, not many schools have that kind of environment. Sure it may not be one of those better school, but still I wouldn't trade it for any other.. I think. haha.. But seriously, which school doesn't have its flaws?

Darn it, this post has left me feeling somewhat nostalgic. XD

2008-06-23T01:17:00.006+08:00

I think I reached the point where I couldn't take in anymore of it. I blew off at you. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to, but everything was just at the wrong time. I guess I used you as my "punching bag" if I could put it in another term. It's probably the first time it happened.

I know you already know that. But you know what? I didn't tell you this. Truthfully, I'm glad it happened. Cause, I feel much better now especially with everything that was going on. I feel like a burden's lifted in a way. Or maybe also because exams are over as well. But still, I'll give u some credit for that. :)

Now, the only thing is whether you'll be reading this anytime soon before I see you. considering I barely update my blog and you rarely come here to read. Haha.

And to everyone else.. Yes, you'll never know what happened cause, well, you won't. Hehe

And yes, I guess there's always a limit to everything. No matter how strong and stable you are or, rather appear to be.

Oh, since you're already reading. And I'm too lazy to put up another post..

Exam's over, as you can already tell. I've got a freaking longgg holiday. Till I start Uni. God knows what exactly am I gonna do to fill my days up.

My last day was on Thursday. And I've been going out and doing stuffs. I think let this prolong for 1 more week and I'll be confirmed dead bored already. Yes, I'm the kind that gets bored really easily. So, long holidays are never a good thing for me. Including those 2 week ones.

Supposed to go on a holiday over to UK. But, sigh, I think my laziness *as in to having to pack and all those stuffs n taking care/cleaning/packing of everything myself since I'd to go alone* overpowered my eagerness to travel and visit my relatives and visit all those places I'd like to go. Culture, Broadway, Euro trips, backpacking :)

Yes. I know. Most of you are thinking that I'm weird and, well, "stupid" for not going. But, I can't help it!

Since, holiday-ing overseas is out of the list. apart from those local ones or neighbouring countries.. I plan to work.

Notice the word plan? Now, here's the tricky part. Let's see if I do get to doing that. Haha Well, I've already promised to help out some ppl with their work. But don't think that's enough to keep me occupied.. Maybe, I'll find something else to do. Something that I've been wanting to do for long.

Gosh, I'm so indecisive!

Now, I've to be up by 6am latest. . And I'm staying up to watch the Spain vs Italy game.. Oh, thank God for coffee =) let's hope I don't decide to sleep instead. Although I need alot of it since I've been deprived for the last 2 month. And my dark eye circles are extremely visible now. Those that know, I've barely had dark circles or bags before this. Sighhh.. Old age is catching up I guess. Time to start taking care of my skin. Facial cleansing regime, here I come! No more good ol' plain water.

2008-04-20T17:19:00.008+08:00

God does work in many interesting ways. Really.

Well, for those of you who managed to read what I had posted last month(which I've removed) bout the loving n feeling post.. I asked for God to help "soften" my heart and not being so emotionless. haha. And seriously, from the next day itself for 3 whole weeks, I've gotten some of those devotional readings, and also some topics that suddenly came out bout loving, compassion and those stuffs related. And a friend of mine, suddenly sent me a text message bout something related. Whom I didn't mention anything about and I'm pretty sure he doesn't read my blog. And certain incidents that allowed me to try. And even till now there are some here and there. See, God does really listen to you. And He only wants the best for you =) even when you've drifted away.

I realised something else. I think I have really trained myself to not appear emotional to the extent that today, I was on the verge of crying during some prayer thingi towards the ending of church service. Yet, get this. I somehow managed to stop myself. Well, I did tear a bit lah. enough to be noticed by the 2 ppl next to me but ya, I covered it up real well. HAHAHA. big time HAHA. gosh. I know, it's not good.
But, I rarely show emotions. I think mainly because I don't want to appear weak. Esp, crying and all. Seriously, ask around lah.

Come to think of it. I've only publicly cried twice, the flowing tears and mucus-ing (hehe) cry which were during leaders retreat last year and 2 years back in the AYA college cf thing at Taylor's. . And those also, due to God.
K lah, not inclusive of those crying in movies okayyy. Cos, usually ppl cant see.. hehe. That one I do tend to cry a lot. hehe

See, I think it's gotten really bad. But, well, I guess today could be counted as an improvement? hahaha. okay. nevermind. just trying to make myself happy abit =P

2008-04-02T01:13:00.005+08:00

My gosh. I actually finally reached my 100th post two posts ago. (Including this one that is) haha after like, 2 years? Just shows how much I update or even write in this blog. Gosh, it's so pathetic sounding : P

I just realised that my 'P' license is expiring on the 5th. So fast. I can't believe it's been 2 years already and I can still clearly remember the day of my driving exam. I hope I'm able to renew it before it expires. I've no time wei. Or else, I've to find drivers. Wait, that doesn't sound so bad after all. I'll get to be chauffeured ; )

Ya know, my dad's so evil. He insisted I do the renewing tomorrow itself so that he doesn't get to be one of 'em "chauffeurs". Evil I tell you, evil. Pfft. Nvm, I've other resources. ahah

I got drenched wet in the rain today. Great, the rain decided to fall at the wrong timing. I was walking on the way to the car, which btw was parked quite far, it decided to just pour like that. Not a drizzle or anything. And I gladly decided to walk in the rain lah. No point in running or anything since I'd be soaked either way. And all my books n notes got WET.
But nonetheless, I really enjoyed just walking in the rain. There's something bout walking in the rain. It's like having a joyful stroll. Somehow, it brings back memories. Like when I was a kid or those schooling days. I'd just have fun in the rain.
Tho, the joy lasted for awhile only. Till I started sneezing away in the car. Sigh.

And, I've been pimple-lating lately. Gosh, it's so annoying. Okay, fine it's not exactly that bad comparatively. Just that for me, I rarely get pimples. So yeah..
And I've finally gotten dark circles. As in really visible ones. Previously, even when I didn't sleep for 2 days, I'd look normal. No eye bags or dark circles. Nada.. But now, with only a nearly consistent 4 hours of sleep. It's showing.. Pfffft... Haha.

But ya know what's funny. Yesterday I slept really long. for like 10 hours. Yes, I slept at 9-ish last night. haha.. Early. I know. And yet, I looked like I hadn't slept in days. The whole day in college I was having headache, kept yawning and my eyes felt like it was swollen. Must be an April Fools day thing. Pfft..

And then I've got an ultra huge painful ulcer at the tip of the bottom of my tongue. It hurts so much that I can't eat or drink without being in pain. And what's worse that the ulcer part touches my teeth when my mouth's closed. So, extra bummer. Infact, it hurts sometimes when I talk.

Lately, I've been having this feeling of wanting to go through isolation. Not to that extent maybe, but to really just cut down on the socialising. A huge amount that is. Infact, now I go online not with an intention to maybe chat, but just to show I'm 'alive' still. Because people apparently notice when I've not been online for a period of time. Sure, I do still chat here and there. But only to certain few people. Very minimal. Apart from that, I really don't wanna have anything to do with socialising. Don't ask me why. I'm just like that. It's not the first time.

Lastly, my love-hate relationship with the library is.. not going so well. Initially it was doing quite well. It was swell. Heck, now it's like I tak nak layan the library. Haha. Yes, I know this sounds like I'm treating the library like a boyfriend. Lol. But it really is a love-hate relationship. I gotta love the library when I absolutely dislike libraries. And what more I don't like the condition of the library in college. See, it relates to like a real relationship. Don't look at the outside, look at the inside. ahahaha. My gosh.

Exam's in May. And I'm barely anywhere near getting prepared.

And yes, I know my post is very disconnected. =/

Oh, and to you. I've decided to say goodbye to everything we had and have. It's just not worth the time and frustrations and confusions. So, if there's anything you want to say. Say it soon before I totally leave it behind. Time to start afresh with you.

And so, I updated

2008-02-22T17:19:00.001+08:00

This has got to be the most "sui" week man.

The whole of Wednesday and Thursday morning I was sneezing like crazy until I couldn't even sleep and bad enough I was already sleep deprived for 2 days.
I think someone must've been talking bad bout me. Big time. ;)

Thank God, last night I managed to recuperate by sleeping for 15 hours. which is REALLY long for those who know my sleeping pattern. It's bout 3 to 4 times my average hours.
But then right, that also, I got "interupted" thanks to 2 callers. somore one at midnight the other at 2am. so the wrong day to call man. >< hahaha

And then right, me, being very "smart and careful" I somehow managed to injure myself 4 times in 3 days. Smart right. I know. and not forgetting a few other little events.

but to sum it up, I received something in my mail today to compensate for that. It was so random considering we haven't talked in a really long time. A really really sweet card and a small lil gift from someone. It's been so long already and I've missed you sooo much :) you know who you are. Thanks alot.

You made someone a very happy smiley girl today. XD

psst. I'm officially sick of KLIA. I've been there 6 times in a row. and could've been more.

Benny Lava. lol

2008-01-24T02:17:00.001+08:00

It's 2 a.m.
And in the midst of cramming for my paper on Friday.. i suddenly thought of posting up this video.. after ages ago of watching this, n since i was mentioning bout it to someone the other day.. I thought.. bah, just a reason to update the blog aswell.
enjoy :)

crap. back to cramming. and another sleep deprived night.

toodles XD

2008-01-11T12:08:00.000+08:00

After yesterday, all I can say is..

Seeing is not necessarily believing.

but also,
Believing is seeing.

Blessed 2008

2008-01-03T22:28:00.001+08:00

Oh, and a

Blessed 2 day late New Year to all of you.

Ice Wine

2008-01-03T22:13:00.000+08:00

Bet a lot of you don't know there's such a thing as Ice Wine..
It's actually a dessert wine. And quite a high alcohol content..

Then again, heck it's so yummy :) well, if you like drinking wine that is. ;)

but frigging expensive I tell you. But, still. haha.
Recently had a glass .. after a satisfying feast. teehee..
First time I ever tried it was 3 years back... and it still tastes goood. like obviously. hahah XD

Christmas '07

2007-12-25T00:11:00.000+08:00

May you all have a blessed Christmas
and that the spirit of joy, love and peace be upon you

Happy Birthday Jesus.
Thank You for all You've done. x)

With lotsa love;
.....me <3

Here's one to the season ;) Enjoy

Anatomy

2007-12-22T03:16:00.000+08:00

OhMyFriggingGosh lah.

I've been having weird cravings lately.
Craving for food that I do not know as to whether they exist or not. Gah.
Actually, I don't even know what exactly I am craving for in the first place. I just have that unsatisfied feeling.

Well, there is at least one craving that I know of and that is.....

Cheese. Badly.
Ohhh. And mash potatoes. my style >.<
And mushroom soup. The real deal. No canned ones please.

Oh okay.. make that three.. hahaha. But still.. oh welll

On another note.

I apparently grew shorter..
According to certain few TALL guy friends whom I last saw..erm, 1 or 2 years ago.

I'm not short, I'm space efficient and fun sized *grinsss*

But seriously, 2 inches more wouldn't hurt. Teeheee
Don't get me wrong. I'm not unhappy with my height. In fact, I like it.
Besides, I know I'm not THAT short, I just happen to have a lot of guy friends who are really tall.

Tonight.
Memories were rekindled. At both places. Good ones, and.. oh welll.
Something about someone whom I wished didn't suddenly show up half way through even though I knew the person would come today. 3 frigging years ago okay.
Oh well, it was both sides. So at least I wasn't the only one who felt it.
We still talk whenever we see/bump into each other, which is really rare.
Well, no one exactly knows about it. So yeah..

It was all forgotten, till a certain related topic was mentioned randomly while everyone was talking. In which, me being myself, continued talking like nothing happened.

I cease to wonder as to where and how I cultivated my ability to ignore certain things. And my ability to buat tak tau only and still seem to appear normal and happy.

Trust me. I tend to do it unintentionally, which is really bad. I hope it doesn't become too much of a habit.

Anyhooots.
Cravings schmavings.. Please, please be satisfied and over with soon x)

Quote

2007-12-20T02:09:00.000+08:00

To love means loving the unlovable.
To forgive means pardoning the unpardonable.
Faith means believing the unbelievable.
Hope means hoping when everything seems hopeless.

-Gilbert Keith Chesterton

Just as troubles come and make you tremble, causing your knees to wobble like jelly.
Then the thunder strikes causing all your fears you never knew you had to flow out endlessly like a flowing river which leads to the sea that knows no end.
Silent and slow.
Causing the already excruciating pains, to only hurt and bleed even more.
What else could be worse you thought?
And a stroke of lightning puts an end to it all. An end to everything only did you realise you have nothing left.
Nothing to hold on to. Not a single form of protection.
Bare and empty.

But what lies beneath it all, is one thing. The one thing that can turn things around.

And that is hope.
But one must know how to love first.

With love comes faith, and with faith, comes hope. As they say, there are three important elements in life. Love, faith and hope, and love, is the greatest of them all. Without love, you won’t have faith, and without faith, you won’t have hope. Thus love leads to everything and everything comes from love.

Faith doesn't come overnight. Faith is built and grown over a period of time. To have faith is to have no fear or doubt in whatever you believe, but, remember, faith cannot exist without love, this is because with love comes belief, and with that comes faith. Faith does the right thing at the right time.

All these come with a choice. You make a choice to love, you make a choice to have faith, and then you will have hope in life. Love is as much a question of the will as it is of the emotion.
And once again, with love comes faith, and with faith comes hope, and with hope comes life. A life without love is no life at all.

You wonder, why? Why had this all had to happen?
One can only cease to wonder truly.
Was it a consequence to all the things that shouldn't have been done?
Or just as a warning?
Or perhaps it's one of those 'life test'

2007-12-19T02:54:00.000+08:00

To you ppl in PD..

Have fun :D being pirates and sun-burned in the beach.
Sun, Sun. Oh glorious sun x)

4 days of fun, torture and a whole new experience in many many aspects esp spiritually and physically.

Pffft. I wanted to gooooo.. but darn college. n their classes. :(

Tears of beauty

2007-12-17T02:31:00.001+08:00

I've mentioned Paul Potts before.. Now to talk bout the other special contestant in the show. Connie Talbot, a talented six year old.

For a six year old, she's got a really amazing sweet angelic voice and what more cute with that adorable sweeet smile! And really sweet in nature. Not forgetting matured for her age.
However I do think that she's getting a tad bit more attention than she should be. Because she's six.. and well, a really cute lil girl. Who wouldn't be giving all that extra attention.
Nevertheless, I still think she's great. Breath taking

She's got the voice that's so pure and innocently angelic yet powerful that can make you want to go all emotional by just hearing her very well pitched singing of evergreens and oldies. What more an all time classic lullaby like "Over the Rainbow" for a start.

Though I must say I prefer her performance during the auditions. That really made me want to shed tears.

Choices

2007-12-15T21:43:00.000+08:00

Making the wrong right choice or making the right wrong choice

Is there such a thing?

I believe there is.

2007-12-15T19:27:00.000+08:00

I've been internet-ly MIA for 2 weeks.. because my darned internet card was fried.. so couldnt come online at all. N i was to malas to go anywhere else or find other means of going online. LOL.

And now, hallelujah. I changed the card n reformat the comp n i'm back to my old habits :P. which isnt much of a hallelujah-ing moment for. gargh.

I know.. certain someones have been missing me way too darned much that they cant contain it in anymore. And frust about it with constant nags :P now i'm able to.. erm, erh,.. nevermind. ahhaha.

And Yee San.. Since u mentioned a few times already i shall give u an honor to appear in my blog. hahaha.

I miss you too.. and yee mun. n our "only infront of and with each other" stupid moments. Come back soon.. with my Flakes. I want them more than i want u :P have fun over there :)

2007-11-25T00:14:00.000+08:00

ooh ooh. Final destination 4's coming out in 3D.. wheee.. another stupid funny thriller to kill my brain cells even more in a satisfying way... hahah ;)

AND most importantly...

24 SEASON 7 is coming out in Jan.. :) Yay!!!

early mornings, late nights

2007-11-24T01:00:00.000+08:00

What does one do when one has only slept for a total span of 3 hours in two whole days.? Literally 3 out of 43 hours..
Sit in front of the computer to type this ranting sleep deprived post.

Letssee.
Was up at 6 am on Thursday. Had classes 8-2. with some additional stuffs till 4. Went out for a while. Slept at (an amazingly early time for me XD) 8 to bout 11 ish. Watched TV till 1. Stoned for half an hour and was finally moving my ass to study n finish up things. while "multi-tasking" online. XP.. heheh..

I was up till when you ask? Till NOW. And I'm still WIDE AWAKE. OhMyGoodness lah

What more, had a fulll day today. 9 a.m. - 12 a.m.
Friday, oh glorious Friday

Test(s)..
Kidzone Fun camp session with the preteens..
Meeting at 7.15. for an hour.
Shower AND Dinner ( mind you, in 15 minutes AND NOT done together)... mashedpotatoes(yummmeh)..

Then;
Rushed off for cell group, till 12. And guess what, it was pointless to have went today. Should've stayed home instead and sleeeep.
All the inhouse plannings/discussions.. For events which I most probably wont be able to make for. Bahhh

Yes. It's now 1:30 am on the dot. And I've yet to prepare for NSt.. goodnessssss.
Which leaves me to.. at most a good 6 hour sleep (if I sleep right after) =)
and back to starting another long day.. >.<

Then again.. I always have very little sleep anyway =S

Amazing huh, how I look/seem so awake, calm, "afresh" and not dead looking.. [whatever else you wanna add]..
and brains still rather functional :D
I never cease to wonder myself. =P

Now. How do I make myself sleep when I'm not feeling a tad bit sleepy.??

Believing

2007-11-10T03:21:00.000+08:00

Faith, reason and rationality.
What is your say?

To you

He heals.
Yes it's true, physically AND emotionally.
The question is, do you believe?
It's hard, looking at how things have been.
But is your faith true enough to really believe to receive the blessings/healing?

I can only pray for you to continue believing and to not doubt again.

Father, hear the cry. To bring once again, back home to You.
Breaking free from the invisible chains that's holding down so tightly.

Awesome-ness

2007-10-23T17:48:00.000+08:00

Although I saw his videos and all a few months back.. But today, my Econs lecturer suddenly brought him up again. :D And his voice still amazeesss me...

Check out Paul Potts on Youtube.
and his other vids. Can't seem to post 'em up.
You'll regret it if you don't. Hahaa. Okay. Not literally but yeah..

He's like the unprofessional version of Pavarotti.
I'm not saying he's better than Pavarotti.. but he's just THAT good.
And that talent.
Ahh.. you get what I mean. :)

It's just plain inspiration

Gosh. Can tear up just listening.

Now. Stop reading and go check it out. GO GO!

toodles.

Hungry Anyone?

2007-09-27T13:46:00.001+08:00

Like.. gosh..
and yes, i do know these people.
Never fails to amuse or entertain. :)

Enjoy

2007-09-09T01:47:00.000+08:00

It's been slightly two months after my last post. I come online just to check mails, research, updates and some quick chats online.
But blogs, pfft, haven't visited one since then at all.
And all I can give you small amounted faithful readers is something unsightly, or rather, ugly-ly worded.

I think I've come to the point of time where I confidently say I think I've changed.
Outwardly, I'm still the same. Sadly, can't say the same inwards.

For the better or worse? I really don't know. Not many of you can see/notice it. Unless if you've stuck by me since schooling days.

Some would say worse. but for some others, they may think for the better. Depending on how you see it.

Your perspective, for now, really, I couldn't care less when you tell/confront me. Cause really, at this point of time. I need some time off. Especially from a few certain you's.

And to you you, all I can say is leave me alone. Please.
I'd greatly appreciate that.

I somehow feel in need of a new environment.

What I can say is,
I repeatedly tell myself, maybe, just maybe, it's one of those phase.

And truthfully, I really want to believe so.

And please, to the others, just be the same. Cause I'd feel worse if done otherwise.

But, thankfully,
I'm still somewhat sane.
Thanks to the grace of God.

2007-07-04T02:46:00.000+08:00

Gosh. It's been quite some time.

Well, I've been meaning to blog after the exams.. but garh, the holiday mode kinda got me down real hard fast enough. hahah. So i think i'll just do some long overdue tags.

(just to satisfy ppl who've been telling me " your blog's dead" to my face. sheesh ;D )

Here's one from Yee San *4 months back! whee*

I hereby confess I'm weird.

Each player of this game starts off with ten weird things or habits or little known facts about yourself. People who get tagged must write in a blog of their own ten weird things or habits or little known facts as well as state this rule clearly. At the end you must choose six people to be tagged and list their names. No tagbacks!

1. I've a tendency of smelling my food before i start eating. But only for a la carte dishes. (or something new/different I'm trying from others)

2. I flatten my rice ( only for plain steam rice) if it's served on a plate. Don't ask why. cause I don't know either..

3. I've finally eaten a Ramli burger after 19.125 years of my existence.

4. My sleeping pattern's weird.

I sleep in the wee hours of the morning nearly everyday. sleeping hours? 3/4 a.m. to 7/8 with the occasional 12/1 a.m. earliest.

I usually can't sleep for more than 8 hours. The times when I've liberty of sleeping in, i dont last past 8 hours of sleeping except for the occasional fatigue feeling (i think due to the " building up of lack of sleep") heheh

5. I grew up playing with army soldiers toy/games, lego, transformers, water guns with my bro.

I only actually started acknowledging playing/usage/liking for dolls/softtoys somewhere in primary 3.. i think. Didn't last long for the barbies. hahah

6. I grew up playing boy-ish computer games influenced by my brother I guess. Yes, the good ol Worms, Warcraft, Command & Conquer, Wing something and the bla-s. And yes, they were good times. (psst.. Worm's a must play for everyone. try it at least once and you'll love it)

7. I'm one of those few who can't stand (at all) rap music and those fergie/jay-z and the likes songs. It's just down right meaningless and plain stupid.

8. I use water to wash my face daily. Well, ok. I use facial wash/scrub once or twice a month tops (due to the constant nagging of my mom. teehee)

9. I support the local scene.. :)

10. I love the fact that I'm Malaysian who loves Malaysia, and darn proud to be one. Yes, there's flaws here and there but seriously which country doesnt. When you think of it properly, there's much more good in Malaysia that overpowers the flaws comparative to other countries.

since i'm on the topic...

Every citizen is just never satisfied with their own country and always speaks the better of others. I think it's the fact that we can see the flaws in our own country having lived through it and widely exposed to it and hear of the good stuff of other countries.. hence thinking elsewhere is a better place to live in.

Seriously, the fault lies in the mindset of the citizens. Try and look past the flaws. Just think of the many other things Malaysia has to offer.. and embrace it. example, the peace, the people, the harmony within the different races, religions, culture.. the harmony of it all.

Just bloody change your mindset and stop making the flaws worse by pin pointing them all the time. Instead show the world what we've got to offer.

I believe, God has a reason for placing each and every one of us wherever we are. God has His reason in birthing us in Malaysia. So, let's do all we can for God in this country He has entrusted us upon.

oh yea, I'm not gonna tag anyone.

2007-06-14T12:58:00.000+08:00

Two beautiiifuuull ladies and erh, two ghastly monster looking boys. ;)

Well, I'll say. This has got to be the most "asian" looking picture of myself.

Look into the cina-moi eyes.. teehee

2007-06-07T03:45:00.000+08:00

And just when...
but it surely doesn't seem so..

Oh by the way, a small two cents worth of advice for everyone.

if you know you cant.. then don't even think so.

once you've said think.. that's when you know it'll crumble.

So don't bother.

2007-05-23T20:28:00.000+08:00

oh yes. one more thing...

IN YOUR FACE you Man U fans! Woooot!

2007-05-23T19:45:00.000+08:00

Many gracious thanks to those who wished me :)

In fact, I was touched by some of the "special" ones.
Seriously, some of them nearly caused a big ass laughing riot by me. And some I could nearly cry.

Truth be told, I was also surprised that some of you whom I thought would've forgotten or rather never expected to be bothered, still remembered. Especially those from school.. I feel really appreciated to be remembered cos, well, I kinda forgotten a lot of yours. SORRY! Seriously. Would you have expected a wish from someone you barely knew.. or someone you were just, just schoolmates with. and someone who, erm, never mind.

Anyhoots. I love you guys :)

Oh yes..
Something for a belated mother's day.

"If it weren't for your push, I'd still be stuck in your womb"

Raymond, Everybody Loves Raymond.

I love you momsie! more than anything could ever describe.

For being the only mother I'll ever have and for being MY mother :)

I won't put some cheesy Thank you for bla bla bla. They're just erm, overly cliche-d and purely overly said/used. God knows if they really mean it.

I know this is way darned late but heck, I don't need a reason or special day to tell her that :)

Planet Shakers : Fall In this Place

2007-05-07T01:32:00.000+08:00

Take me to the place Lord
Where there’s nothing else but me and You
Longing for Your presence
I know that You are calling me to You

Here I stand
And long for Your embrace
Nothing else
Could ever take Your place

Come Holy Spirit
Fall in this place
I need more and more of You
Fill me again with the power of Your Spirit
Lord I’m crying out for
More and more of You

Lord I’m crying out for
More and more of You (Oh)

Father, I really pray that I will be able to feel the works of the Holy Spirit in me once again. It's been really long since I've been in Your presence feeling Your love. It feels like I've lost touch of it all. At times like these is when I wished I never took the pause. Not to take it for granted. If only I could turn things round. Father, this is my plead. I love You.
Amen

2007-04-26T01:13:00.000+08:00

...I feel utterly wasted...

and here's to my schayang :) looking rather somehow wasted.. sigh.

Syiok sendiri-ness

2007-04-07T23:49:00.000+08:00

Look at what I found. A random pic back in 2003. Candid shot during last day of cf camp.

The budak gigi besi ;)

My really long hair. i miss youuu.. it was literally down to my sleeves ;)
Now it's just erm, still long, but not as long and as nice. it was like all nice, long and straight.
I quote my friend... " Horse hair/tail"

And now if you compare my "pose" then and now..
fuyooh. look at the difference. hahahah
Oh okay. 3 years later and I look the same.
Not much diff, just that I'm more, erm, " vainpot-ish poser-ish" now when it comes to picture time. When i want to. Which is most of the time ; p

2003

2006

Mind me. I'm feeling rather aimless at this point. So yea, since i've nothing better to do than waste my already very limited time. Might aswell get on going with it. Ahahah..
Enjoy

For the sake of love

2007-03-28T00:53:00.000+08:00

For some odd reason, I've been hearing lots of romantic stories lately. Be it, while courting, marriage, small suprises etc.. Their so romantically sweet that it makes you go all "Awwww, that's so sweeettt!" (Well, okay, most of them) and makes you envious. And go, if only I had my share of that. hahahah. Now, I've had a share of my own sweet ones ( mostly from really close guy friends), not romantic, since they weren't technically courting me (or so I think, ahah) but really sweet. So sweet that if they were, I'd be all hearts. Well, that's not the point..

And so, as I was walking this thought suddenly struck me.

Why is it that we can go all out for the people we like just to make them happy. Put in as much effort, love, courage, time possible for the loved one and yet, barely even do so or think about God. And when, Saturday or Sunday comes, we suddenly go "I love You Father", " I need You to....". Worshipping and all. Typical Sunday church person.

If only we all could do just as much or even more to spend time with Him. And what's more is that it doesn't have to be so extravagent.
A simple prayer, chat, or anything is more than enough yet, we can't spare any for Him. Infact, a simple "Hello" or "Morning" does a lot.

Thank You so much, Father, for always being there for me, loving me without fail. And I love You too.

__________________________________________________________

Yes, I know Valentines has already passed, but since I was MIA for a month missing the appropriate timing and I happen to be in the mood of doing this.
Here's one for a nice romantic date.

Flowers, candy and a really beautiful peaceful scenery

Courtesy of Beautiful Night
yes, they were all mine. heheh I felt the love ;)

Courtesy of some shop in London.
My dad lah.. Distracted me with caramel apples.. hehe

Courtesy of Aunt's backyard garden in London

2007-01-25T00:59:00.000+08:00

the wake up call
My real first wake up call. And this is gonna make the difference. It's kicking in already.

11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity.

Jeremiah 29.

2007-01-04T03:51:00.000+08:00

Since I can't sleep. I'll post some random pictures.

Poser Picture of the year 2006
Genting trip.
It was 17.6 Celcius at 9.30 a.m. Super cold.

And the ultimate yummy picture of 2006

(only because of the yummylicious chocolate - Rum 'n' Raisins!)
Get me that and I'll love you :P for a while only that is.. heheh

And the last picture, while i'm at it....

cause I think I look funny yet cute here! teehee ;)
Looks like I'm about to feed someone..
Thai food is good. So's the company and atmosphere
And yes. I do have bunny teeth and I loveee it

Year 2006?

2007-01-03T23:32:00.000+08:00

Is it me, or is it that 2006 has definitely been an extremely different and much more memorable year compared to other years for many. Seems like 2006 is one of those years of turning point in many lives.
Sure it wasn't really an easy year for me, but somehow I managed to pull through, with the grace of God that is, and the people around me.

Oh, many big events have happened, but that's another thing all together.

Well, quite late but heck. Here it is, and it's long. Very 'cheong hei'. hehe

Relationships were formed, good ones and a few bad ones.

College in general. Bad ones you ask? Let's just not get there.

Yet, many have been stringed further. Some like strangers.

Despite the amount of time spent together during school time. Infact, I've never really kept in touch with the majority of my school friends. Sure, there's the many random "hey lets meet up" which I have ffk-ed a gazzilion times, or random bumpings which were just short chats. Nothing much. No catching up. But, it is somewhat my own fault.

Especially one person. From the daily text messaging habit of 3 years to nearly none at all now. Now, I daily text someone else. It's just queer when I think of it yet saddening at the same time. 5 years of friendship, 3 really close bonding ones but all gone just like that.

Also happens to be the year where I had many firsts.

Many important first things have happened this year, but some are private. But there is one.. Not exactly an important first but One I'm rather proud of.

The library visits. I've been to the library more times then I've cleaned my room my entire life in just half a year. Never in my entire schooling life have I stepped into a library (not counting the forced ones) till this year, and happens to be where I spent a lot of my time in college... Well, that was after the obsession with foosball and pool stopped. Incredibly amazed with that...

Involvements.

Well, more in church and less (make that nearly zero) in school, or rather college. Well, elaboration on this would take a lottt of space. Maybe another time.

New people.
New environment.
New experiences.
New learnings.
Even more confrontations.
More challenging challenges.
Different role plays.

And lastly, of course, which is a good thing...

is that the amount of classes I ponteng has lessened by 95%.. Considering that I ponteng-ed nearly half of my school years away.
So, you do the math.

No. I do not encourage skipping classes. It’s no good.. hehe

However, most importantly is that, I have definitely build a stronger faith, deeper passion and love and closer relationship with God this year. My stand in my belief has definitely been shaken at times, but He has never failed to bring me back up. Never.
It's definitely a challenge to stand up and be strong as a Christian esp. in college. It's different from when it was in school.

I tend to wonder if really, did I do Him proud with my conduct in life. How I bring myself all at times. But then, I remember, I'm only human. Humans make mistakes, wrong doings. But, as long as I know the truth and live truthfully, it's ok. However, those challenges are rather fun, and at the same time, strengthening.

Again, I really thank God for providing me with many ppl who have blessed me in many interesting ways, and I hope you all will continue doing so and that more great things will come for 2007.

Christmas..

2006-12-30T23:58:00.000+08:00

Merry Belated Christmas everyone :)

What is Christmas really about to you?

I get aggravated over the commercialization of Christmas and the lack of focus our society placed upon Christ being the only real reason for Christmas. And i'm getting tired of it..

Is it really just another reason to shop, laze around, get drunk and laid?
Where's the logic behind giving presents just for the sake of giving if its not from the heart sincerely?
What's the deal with putting an 'X' instead of Christ? Not like Xmas sounds like Christmas anyway.
Why do you even want or have Santa in the picture? Who is he to be called the Father of Christmas anyway?
Why do you sing all those commercialized carols, meaning those with Santa, Rudolf, Frosty the snowman and others when Christmas isnt about them at all?

Speaking of commercialized carols, what kind of nut ever came up with carols such as this?

Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.
She'd been drinkin' too much egg nog,
And we'd begged her not to go.
But she'd left her medication,
So she stumbled out the door into the snow.
When they found her Christmas mornin',
At the scene of the attack.
There were hoof prints on her forehead,
And incriminatin' Claus marks on her back.

And we just can't help but wonder:
Should we open up her gifts or send them back?

Happily looking around for songs and I found this particular carol to my horror. Not only is it sickening, it's shocking to see its on the top downloaded list..
And all i could say was whatthe...

On another hand, I did find this..

Christ Is Christmas
By Russell Adams and Steve Israel

Christ is Christmas
No greater gift you'll find,
Christ is Christmas
God's gift to all mankind.

Though rich or poor
No greater gift you'll find
Than the gift of God's own Son.

Christmas is really about the day to remember, rejoice and celebrate the glorious birth of Jesus Christ. Why do you think Christmas is called Christmas with the name Christ in it!

And I'll end this with part of a song that really depicts what Christmas is

Christmas is your birthday Lord,
Jesus, Son of God.
You were born in Bethlehem,
as God’s gift to man.
Lord we celebrate on earth,
Your glorious virgin birth.
You we honour and adore,
now and evermore.

How we wish the world would see,
that this special day,
centers, Jesus Lord, on Thee,
not Santa Claus or me!
Not on decorated trees,
or fancy shopping sprees,
But on Thee, the Son of God,
Jesus Christ the Lord.

Oh while I'm at it, might as well wish you all a Happy New Year!

And another has passed on..

2006-12-15T20:28:00.000+08:00

The actor for my favourite character in Everybody Loves Raymond, Frank Barone has passed away.. Sigh. I loved his sacarsm, cruelsome anger and dontgiveadamn attitude. I'm gonna miss you.

Peter Boyle, 71, died of cancer and heart disease. The story

Tagged by Yee San

2006-12-14T16:35:00.000+08:00

Finally I'm doing this survey. haha

Part 1: On the Outside
Name : Lim Pei Ling
Date of Birth : 12th May 1988
Current Status : Single
Eye Colour : Dark Brown
Hair Colour : Blackish brown with random strands of red and goldish brown
Righty or Lefty : Righty
Zodiac Sign : Taurus

Part 2: On the Inside
Your Heritage : Chinese? hehe. I really dont know. never really bothered to ask :P
Your Fear : Apart from God, I guess to fail in exams. Nothing else
Your Weakness : Soft spot for Animals.
Your Perfect Pizza : Anything with tomato, pineapple, pepperoni and cheese.

Part 3: Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow
Your thoughts first waking up : Nothing. My mind is practically blank! ahaha.
Your bedtime : Between 2.30 - 4.30. Literally
Your most missed memory : The joy of being a kid esp. during oversea trips

Part 4: Your Pick
Pepsi or Coke : Coke
McDees or Burger King : Burger King
Single or Group Dates : Depends. Fine with both
Adidas or Nike : Nike
Lipton Tea or Nestea : Lipton
Chocolate or Vanilla : Chocolate
Cappucino or Coffee : Coffee. the original :P

Part 5: Do You...
Smoke : Massive second hand smoker? ahaha
Curse : Once in a while. But not the F* word tho. Infact never said it.

Part 6: In the Past Month
Drank alcohol : Yup.
Gone to the mall : Yesterday
Been on stage : Yup
Eaten sushi : Yup
Dyed your hair : Nope. My crown of glory is still a virgin and intend to stay that way! haha unless, if grey hair loves me at a young age :P

Part 7: Have You Ever?
Played a stripping game : Yup. In Std 4
Changed who you were to fit in : Nope. It's stupid

Part 8
Age you're hoping to be married : It'll happen when it's meant to happen. But hopefully before 31 haha.

Part 9: In A Guy/GirlBest
Eye colour : Brown
Hair colour : Anything. So long it suits him.
Short or long hair : Same thing. so long, boleh suit dah cukup.

Part 10: What Were You Doing?
1 minute ago : Answering this survey thing.
1 hour ago : Reading
4 1/2 hours ago : Was out
1 month ago : College. Was having my AS finals
1 year ago : Just finished SPM? bout a week before today

Part 11: Finish The Sentence
I love : God. Family. My pets. and spending time alone
I feel : emotionless
I hate : Beansprouts and fried fish!
I hide : nothing. Apart from my skin! haaha k lame.
I miss : a lot of things
I need : determination and passion to excel.

Part 12: Tag 5 People
1. Sharon ( i know you love doing this! haha)
2. Amanda ( i know you do to)
3. Whoever else la. i dont like tagging ppl. :)
4. -
5. -

Intelligence to the utmost highest

2006-12-13T01:30:00.000+08:00

Gosh. I must be like the most intelligent person in the entire universe.

Despite being totally AWARE of what I was doing. I unintentionally just deleted or rather overwrote ALL my contacts on my phone simcard.

pfffftt.. So, I'm left with erh, bout 30 out of my 300 contacts. How nice, a perfect one tenth.. herh. smart eh. But no worries, I've smartly retraced back some numbers and I will continue doing so by maybe stealing them from others phonebook. So, to those of you who text me, do tell me who you are, or if i ask who are you, don't merajuk, k? :/

Gosh, one of the many reasons why I do not like technology at times. Yes, you heard wait, I mean you read it right. I've always had that hatred for technology so much that when it really gets to me, I'd totally refrain from using any form of it. Well, except for the TV.. hehe.

but not this time, cos i'm happy with the computer downloading all the movies and tv series I want and me being able to watch them.. And that'll be a compensation to what the brainy phone who is unable to like undelete the deleted stuff.. cisssss... Ok. So I like putting the blame on the handphone. Sue me already..

How bout you?

2006-11-30T01:06:00.000+08:00

You know that typical overated question asked of a girlfriend to a boyfriend?

"If your ( a member of a family) and I were to drown, who would you save?"

For every answer given there's gotta be a real reason to why they say that right? Or rather a more sincere reason. Not the pathetic - I'll save my family because you can swim, or of course I'll save you, without you everything's meaningless.. bla bla bla - excuses.

Well, if that question ever do pop out during my courting times; I've already thought of what I want to hear. And that'll definately play a huge role towards the future :)

Girls, what would want to hear
Guys, what would you have said.
and why?

Feel free to comment only if you want la.

I may or may not put my "wanted" answer in the next post. Incase, any of you readers could be a potential! ahaha. Then again, I guess, it's about the sincerity. And I can usually tell.

If you really want to know, ask me personally. Likewise, I may just tell depending how persuasive you are. teehee :)

Who am I?

2006-11-20T13:22:00.000+08:00

Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt.
Who am I?
That the bright and morning star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wandering heart.

Not because of who I am,
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who you are.

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,(ocean)
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,
And you've told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.

Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And watch me rise again.
Who am I?
That the voice that calmed the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me.

I am yours.

Whom shall I fear?
Whom shall I fear?
'Cause I am yours.
I am yours.

2006-11-20T13:15:00.000+08:00

Ooh. This morning I went to collect the police report. Guess who I met..

En. Aminuddin. He was my form 4 Physics teacher. Gosh, i still remember that rat looking face! I'm serious.. Which reminds me that I haven't visited nor stepped into school since the last day of SPM. Seriously. I wasn't even there on the day the results were out. haha took it a week later due to youth camp. And that was like barely even 10 minutes. hehe. I'm such a "loyal" student.
Yup. To pay his saman. Langgar lori :P

Maybe he hit the lorry that hit the car which hit mine. hmmmm...

It's official

2006-11-19T23:45:00.000+08:00

pffft..

I've never liked motorcycles, motorbikes or whatsoever you want to call them. And most probably never will.
But that's another concern.

As of 18th of November 2006;

I OFFICIALLY HATE LORRY DRIVERS!

I've never really liked them since young. Well, ok, maybe when i was really young I thought it was cool and fun to ride in. But now....

I know, hate, is a strong word. But I couldn't be bothered.

spoilt my perfectly clean record. cheeee. haha

the brightside tho is that the other "victim" which happens to be his first time aswell, is quite a cute guy. hahaha can pass. Young fresh graduate. Only thing is that he's more towards chinese speaking. These are the times I wished I wasn't a banana.. teeheee

As it all comes to an end.

2006-11-18T03:20:00.000+08:00

With barely only 1 month and a half left...
the year is coming to its closure.

Things have.. well, a lot of things have happened..

Many relationships have grown closer yet a lot has formed it's gap. A really big one.

I must say that this year has definately been one of my most eventful years out of my whole 18 years of living. The major and minor events, all sure has it's own story to tell.

Many ups and downs but whatever it is, I'll definately say that the ups has overshadowed the downs. Sure, there's still the post effect that's still linggering down somewhere. Then again, somethings stay. Nothing really leaves does it?

As the days passes, I'll add on.

to or not to?

2006-11-18T02:12:00.000+08:00

Now that my AS finals are over.. My mind is back to this.

I've still no verdict on my dilemma. oh ok. not exactly a dilemma but ah, you get me..

To go or not to go to Singapore during the hols. If I go, I'll go probably around the end of december.

It's been a year plus already since I last went. If feels funny not going back down for so long. I mean, it's cause I used to go down at least once a year last time. It was kinda like a routine thingi. haha..

Well, any last min decision won't matter. Why? I don't need to worry bout money nor a place to stay. There's always the relatives *extra cash aswell ; )* or friends to bunk with..
The only thing to worry is whether I can get an air ticket at that time :)

Geez, there's no point on pondering bout taking the coach. I can fully assure you there's barely any seats available already at this time.. then again, it's gonna be me only. So maybe, just maybeeee, there's that one lonely empty seat.

single and unavailable

2006-10-26T18:57:00.000+08:00

i'm just here to make a clarification.

i don't have someone special. nor do i like anyone at the moment.
and i intend to keep it that way. till i erh, dunno la. it'll happen. i think. hehe

and stop asking me if there's anyone who likes me. even if there is and it's so obvious and even if i know i always buat tak tau.
so yea, i'll continue to act dumb and blur. unless if that someone makes me feel different and also must have the connection. basically if he stands out. that is a whole different ball game. till then ;)

why? cause i'm happy with the way things are now.

why so sudden? cos, it is said that some of my postings sounds like i've got someone. and ppl keep bugging me to go intro to them. cheh. mengacau aje.

some of them is just me being emo, some is really for that "you" because someone did brighten up my day. others is just me emo-ing. really.

i just realized that i don't have any criteria list.
maybe i should start thinking properly. and start erh being serious in relationships..
cos apparently, i'm old already. must start thinking. cissss.
say ppl, but you yourself should be the one to start. hehe you know who you are. ;)

okay. now that's off. now for the random part.. laadeeedumdum

friendster is super poyo but then everyone uses it.
i even remember myself saying that in 2003. ciss. heheh
oh well, at least it's not lagging or hanging orwhatever bullll like it used to.
the only thing that really annoys me now is all those fwd msgs flooding my inbox. annoying sial

till the next time.

weird

2006-10-16T20:01:00.000+08:00

ok ok. i know. i'm glued to the comp today. teehee.

i was just wondering.

Do garbagemen shower before they go to work?

ooh ya. ya know the song Secret Garden by Bruce Springtein? the song from Jerry Mcguire.

there's the part where she says :

i love him for the man he almost is?

nothing funny or perculiar bout this. just that everytime i hear that part, i cringed. just tickles me somehow. hehe.

see. i'm super random.

psssst: i'm having a reallly strong urge of watching Battlestar Galactica and 24! yummy. 24 is soo fun. so's john doe. ok. must tahan for one month. TAHANNNN!!!!

hehe.
taaa

warning : stupid random pointless post

2006-10-16T14:35:00.000+08:00

so, whilst eating my plain porridge which i tapau-ed with an added slightly overcooked egg thanks to the darned tiny jam. which appeared outtanowhere.

speaking of tapau-ed food. i havent eaten homecooked food for like ages already. and i end up eating it alone, infront of the comp. hehe well, for dinner usually la.

k. had my maths paper 1 today. shizzles. i don't know. it was ok. well, it was harder than all the past year papers. forgodknowswhatreason. apparently, my dad's friend said that the cambridge papers are gonna be extra high standard now. so everything's tougher. looks like it's for real.

after the exam i could hear like practically everyone talking bout aiyo, that question so this and that. shitt. i cannot prove and all that. oh the pressure is everywhere eventhough it's just the very beginning.

F*shit la. every time the syllabus or the exam style changes in my year. PMR SPM now A-Levels. pfffft.

the main thing i wanted to rant about is the fact that tomorrow for my chemistry practical exam. i'm in the 4th shift. the last shift. pffft. what's worse is that my quarantine time is from 11.45 till 2.55. n the exam ends at 4.30.. gahhhh. bad enough i'm "imprisoned" for bout 3 hours plus. worst is, quarantine venue is in MPH. the darned coldest place ever in college. and also, some people that i don't want to see will be at the same place. cheee

oh well. i'm off now. to try and study. hehe

2006-10-11T22:55:00.000+08:00

i tend to wonder if what i'm doing is right?
or whether i should even be doing all this?
or why am i even bothered to do some of these things i do?

i wonder if it's worth it.
i wonder if that's the way it should be..
whether it'll turn out the way it is planned to.
whether i'm taking the right steps to all these things i'm doing.
whether it'll turn out fine. just like it is wanted.
i wonder why am i even wondering so much.

sigh.

i'm so not ready.

It has finally gotten to me.

For once in my entire life, i'm actually getting nervous and worried over an exam.
i've never been this nervous. my first hand experience of a nervous breakdown. well, not that i'm going through it, but since it's my first time feeling this, it seems like it.
AS finals starts this monday.
and i'm pretty sure i'm screwed. but..

just because;

i lay it all down to You. for nothing is to big or to small. nothing is impossible. nothing that You cannot handle.
and because i'm taking this step of faith, i'm pretty sure it'll turn out okay in the end.

shit. i told you it's getting to me.

this has got to be the worst year for me, academic wise.
what's worse is i'm slacking one million times more than i usually do.
the drive just isnt there anymore.
i'm having doubts over my choice. i should have really think it over before making the decision.

or maybe, i should just continue to strive, just work for it.
and just get done and over with it.

yup. that's right.

2006-09-26T23:47:00.000+08:00

those were the days when life was just part of living the game.

now is the time when life is the challenge and ultimately the way you control the game.

sigh.

on another note. You're right.
no matter how much we try, it never works that way. and never will.

Meet me on the moon.
We'll have it all to ourselves.
We'll keep it, and no one could tell.
All our searching...
Sharing a kiss on the moon.
The german sky... don't ask me why.
It's ten o'clock and my only thought is of you and the moon.
And the moon.
It's ten...
I'll share a kiss with you on the moon.

Adorable-ness

2006-09-04T22:57:00.000+08:00

edit : to hear the song just click on the title. silly morons. you ppl actually waste credit and msg me online asking me what's the title of the song.

I so love this song. hehe.. :)

tho it gets annoying after a while. but still..

it's so cuteeeee and sweet. teehee

You're my hunny bun, sugar plum, pumpy-upmy-upmkin.
You're my sweetie pie.

You're my cuppy cake, gumdrop, snoogums-boogums,
You're the apple of my eye!

And I love you so, and I want you to know that i'll always be right here.

And I love to sing this song to you,
Because you are so dear!

2006-09-04T16:37:00.000+08:00

Omigoshhhh!

Steve Irwin just died.

no kidding. shittt.. he sure was one helluva entertainer(what? with the bringing his one month old son with him to the croc's pen) and enviromentalist.. sighhh.. i'm so gonna miss his oh so lovely deep accent.

"Crikey!"

CAIRNS, Australia - Steve Irwin, the hugely popular Australian television personality and environmentalist known as the “Crocodile Hunter,” was killed Monday by a stingray while filming an underwater documentary on the Great Barrier Reef. He was 44.
Irwin was killed by a stingray barb to the heart on Batt Reef, off the remote resort town of Port Douglas in northeastern Queensland state, his wildlife park Australia Zoo said in a statement.
Crew members aboard Irwin’s boat, Croc One, called emergency services in the nearest city, Cairns, and administered CPR as they rushed the boat to nearby Low Isle to meet a rescue helicopter. Medical staff pronounced Irwin dead a short time later, the statement said.

2006-09-02T21:49:00.000+08:00

Check this out!
taken from nst.

Community projects make life better for 840 families
01 Sep 2006
By Shamini Darshni

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
KUALA LUMPUR: I want to be a thief. That’s what a nine-year-old boy said when asked what he wanted to be when he grew up He thought it was an easy way to make a living.

But that was a month ago, before he met a "big sister" through a community outreach programme in Taman Prima Selayang.

He has since passed a note to the "big sister", with the message: "Thank you, my teacher."

And the Government is interested in how this change came about.

The boy is part of a mentoring programme for children which teaches creative writing and drawing. It is run by Sidang Injil Borneo Kuala Lumpur (SIBKL).

Dropping out of school and poor academic performance are prevalent in this community of 840 low-income families in Selayang. Fighting, theft, alcoholism and gangsterism are among the major problems here.

Residents are scared to step out of their homes at night for fear of being mugged.

"Now we can come out at nine or 10 at night and still feel safe," said Rafar Ahmad, chairman of the Residents’ Association.

This is partly due to the SIBKL and the Foundation for Community Studies and Development, which have implemented various programmes over the past four years, addressing issues of housing, education, services and infrastructure in this community.

The programmes include English classes for children and adults, tuition classes, self-esteem enhancement programmes and personal development talks and activities such as camping.

The work that has been done to turn around the lives of these families around has been such a success that the Government wants to study it for the "My Neighbour, My Family" (Jiranku, Keluargaku) programme, to be launched later this month.

Minister in the Prime Minister’s Department Datuk Dr Maximus Ongkili said the Selayang programme would be used as a case study.

On the "My Neighbour, My Family", Ongkili said: "We want to go deeper. We want to know how neighbours can work together to improve themselves economically, apart from the normal muhibbah programmes. We want to help them organise themselves so they can improve their lives in the neighbourhood."

The focus of the government-spearheaded programme would be on solving unemployment, education, introducing life-long learning programmes, tackling drug abuse and other social ills.

"Tackling these issues would require the participation of residents’ associations and non-governmental organisations."

Ongkili said to tackle crime, several measures could be put in place, including a reporting system using SMS, installing CCTVs and having neighbourhood patrols.

"When we put together all these things, we can drastically reduce crime. Keep in mind that some crimes happen because the community allows it to take place because we are careless. So this programme needs to include education, policing and an information system both for the police and for the people.

"It goes beyond asking the neighbour to take care of your house or feed the cat while you are away."

The "My Neighbour, My Family" programme, he added, would help with ethnic relations — first from neighbour to neighbour, then to the entire neighbourhood, then from district to district and later from State to State.

"Now, when we talk about neighbours, we are not talking about the person next door but the community at large."

p/s: be proud to know that even the smallest thing you've done to contribute to this community has made a big difference. Adult or youth(be it from kidzone, narrowstreet or couz).

2006-08-31T10:48:00.000+08:00

I've always wondered..

when ppl gather to so call celebrate the independence day of our beloved country, whether they go because they trully want to celebrate the meaning of Merdeka. To give thanks and be proud of all the sweat and blood our Malaysian heroes left behind for the sake of Malaysia's future. or because they just want to go see fireworks. or a reason to go out till the early mornings. to party all night long

I was watching tv that day and i came by this small interview shown 3 days before today. Ok fine. Most of them knows what the Rukun Negara is and can recite them all and how young Malaysia is. But there was this one kid. So darned proud of the fact that he doesnt know all those. and what's worse is that he doesnt know what Kemerdekaan means.

He keeps saying like "ohhh, tak tahu. mana saya tahu." Loudly, smiling away for every question except for the last question which is the best part of it all.

At the end of the interview, the lady asks him, "Jadi, awak ada pergi untuk menyambut Hari Merdeka tak?". He replies " Oh Mestilahhh. Setiap tahun pergi ke Bukit Bintang. nak celebrate bersama."

Like bodohhhh!!

Fine you can hate malaysia for all you want, but at least take SOME pride in your home land. One doesnt have to be a malaysian to be proud of being in Malaysia.

I've got a goood example. My mummy. She's Singaporean. She loves Singapore. but she also loves Malaysia in some ways.

2006-08-30T23:11:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 49th MALAYSIA! :)

i actually do love you Malaysia. With or without your small handicaps. in many other ways.

i think the best merdeka song is still the Tanggal 31.. :p

2006-08-30T23:03:00.000+08:00

Small dedication here. I got to hand it to the Exist band. They were great. all those practices and long and late nights spent was all worthwhile.. :) You guys made the night concerts come alive.

and i'm sure to the committee, tho i wasn't there, you guys did a tremendous work well done. I've heard from a friend of mine in college that her friend went for the conference and she found it good.

Guys, a job well done. Spiritually, Physically and Mentaly.

Next up:

Drunk before Dawn, The Musical. Season II

2006-08-29T20:27:00.000+08:00

Eyerrr.. because of the damned trials. i missed out on a chance of getting to act. hehe. not in KL laaa.. in penang. for a friends roadshow thingi.. lol.. haha. if it was in kl don't think i'd act. ahaha. malufy myself only. :P

lalalala.. i'm happy already. :) thanks to you. :)

2006-08-29T16:38:00.000+08:00

Growwwlllllllllllllll........ ARGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! EYERRRR! sheessshhh

why la whyyyyyyyyyyyyy??

M U S T R E L E A S E T E N S I O N N O W

sigh

2006-08-21T23:44:00.001+08:00

so, tell me again why i've to drive to college?
because mumsy dearest would rather do her own things then have to go all the way to subang and home. twice a day. isshhh. evil women. i knew i shouldn't have gotten my license just yet then she'd have no choice.. then again, she's quite busy now with the E06 conference going on. oh wellllll....

ooh. and it turns out that i won't be home alone for a month. mumsy decided not to go to UK with my bro. dad's still going. at the same time having his "second childhood". hehe not literally but he'll be galavanting around europe again. just like they all did when they were studying there. Wait, make that "second teenage-years"

actually, whether or not they're here. the house has always been empty. quite rare to have more than two ppl in the house at the same time. but most of the time, it's just my darling baby girl that's all alone. that 10 year old bitch of mine. ; )

oh how i love her so much that i'd die if she was gone.. just like how i cried and emo-ed for 2 whole days when my hamster of 4 years passed away cause it had a lump in the stomach.. so imagine what'd i be like when she's gone. sigh

random fact : Given a choice, I'd rather stay here and do half my studies here n the other half there then to go there full years. It's just me.. and my bro. hehe he even decided last min not to go last year.